There’s no such thing as vacation on the farm

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After a swift start to summer vacation here on the farm, we’ve decided to keep the rest of the summer wide open for lazy days with next to nothing planned.

So my 13-year-old has had plenty of time to learn new things like how to dust the living room with military precision. He’s also been mowing the yard at both farms with minimal property damage.

(It’s a riding lawn mower so he doesn’t even know how good he has it.)

Last week, my nephew Michael came down to stay for a week in the country. I remember how excited we would be when our out-of-state cousins would visit from New York and California. It was a welcome change to our normal visitation with the grandparents.

Michael is nine months younger than Evan so they get along fairly well. Yet, there’s something in the power of three that when little Tyler tags along, the cousin conflict flares up.

But when it’s just the two of them, they get along swimmingly. Tyler was at Cub Scout camp, so this visit was just with Mike.

When there’s an extra hand around the farm, we waste no time putting the visiting cousins to work — I mean, relaxing in the country.

Michael picked a downtime for his summer farm visit, but my dad found plenty of projects to do.

One afternoon, I found all three of them covered from head to toe in white paint as they added another layer onto the porch columns. It was reported that Evan provided entertainment singing Southern spirituals during the task.

Michael also was a welcome guest to help walk the lambs. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about walking sheep since Evan saddled him with the “jumpy” one.

It wasn’t all work and no play here on the farm.

We disguised work as play, too. We aren’t completely ruthless out here.

One fun task I gave the boys was to go out and wash Evan’s market lambs. They were looking a little worse for wear, so I suggested the boys hose down the lambs on the hottest day of the year.

Of course, it turned into a water fight, but somehow the wool sweaters were cleaned and returned to the barn and no one was seriously injured.

A few weeks ago, I plucked a few dozen field rocks out of the bean field to add to my collection. I had left them on the edge of the field and my dad herded them up to the barnyard.

Michael channeled his inner Sisyphus and shuttled those rocks back and forth to where I had specific homes for each stone.

I’m the worse aunt of all time. Or am I the best? I’m not sure.

I will say I enjoyed having Evan occupied by his cousin throughout the week instead of spending it alone.

But I did find myself saying the oddest things now that we had added another personality in the usual single-child household.

“Go outside and shoot something — except each other or anything else I’d be mad about.”

Evan and Michael spent one afternoon shooting various targets outside with a BB gun. I was bracing for an insurance claim the whole afternoon.

“Please don’t use Kermit as a target. No. He’s not creepy. Just because you think he stares at you doesn’t mean Kermit deserves to be shot” and “Why is Elmo stuck up in that tree?”

For some reason, the boys turned their boredom into inflicting torture on a select few of Evan’s childhood stuffed animals.

“Dude, you cannot make a mud pit and wrestle each other in it. I don’t care if it helps pigs cool off, you are not a pig. No, you can’t take shots of hot sauce just for fun. No, you can’t see how many Fruit by the Foot your mouth can hold.”

All in all, it was a successful visit and the boys had a great time (I think the stuffed animals may disagree).

Although I can’t figure out why Michael didn’t cry as he left to return home as he has done each and every visit before.

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By Melanie Yingst

Guest columnist

“Twin” Melanie Yingst appears weekly in the Troy Daily News. You’ll shoot your eye out kid.

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