Divorce class aims to help heal

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BOTKINS — Fresh splits, couples wanting to work on their marriage, people who have been separated and/or divorced for years and years; they’re all welcome at DivorceCare class.

This 13-week course held at Only Believe Ministries Christian Center in Botkins is designed to help people heal after divorce.

Co-leaders Chris Richards and Kelinda Crawford work together to offer an escape from everyday life to work on one’s self so they can heal and move on.

“We talk about anger, forgiveness, we talk about depression, things that everybody is going through,” Richards said. “And they could still be going through it years after the divorce and not even know it. … You won’t be able to move on if you don’t heal.”

During the course, Richards and Crawford, along with videos of professional psychologists, work to help people through healing. The class starts with refreshments and fellowship, then a video is presented. After, discussion questions are passed out and time is given to talk through issues of divorce. One of the classes focuses on finances. This might be a hard time for someone with money and after learning from the experts on the videos, Richards and Crawford give resources and ideas to people needing help in the area.

One of the classes focuses on children. Crawford said from experience, this is one of the most difficult issues during a divorce.

“They (my children) were three and five when my husband left, and the emotional trauma they have gone through, it just doesn’t seem to go away. It gets revisited through each stage of growth and awareness,” Crawford said.

In the fall they offer a class for children of divorce that mirrors the adult class. They said that towards the end of the class the kids feel safe and a little more in control.

Richards and Crawford said it’s common for people to jump into another marriage to fill the void after a divorce, which, they say, can be very dangerous if the brokenness isn’t fixed yet; it’s a short term fix.

“They say 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, well 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce, and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. So it just gets worse and the reason it gets worse is because nobody is taking the time to heal,” Richards said.

Richards and Crawford stressed the confidentiality of the classes. Anyone can come in and lay out all their feelings and not have to worry about it leaving the room.

“One of the cool ways this is structured is that we’re here to lend an ear of support, they can say anything to us, we’ve seen it all, we’ve experienced it all,” Crawford said.

She said, you can’t do that with anyone, like your family or a friend, you need non-biased people who have been through it all before themselves.

They said the class has some focus on religion, but you don’t have to be religious to come. “What we and the people in the videos teach is real science about how to heal,” Crawford said.

The class is held in The Loft at Only Believe Ministries, 13815 Botkins Road, Botkins. It runs for 13-weeks, starting on April 7 and ending on June 30. It starts at 7 p.m. and offers free child care during the class.

Richards and Crawford said it may take two or three weeks to get into it, but once you do, it’s worth it. Richards said he went through the whole course a couple of times before it clicked for him. He said sometimes you need to experience and realize it at different levels.

Crawford said, you don’t even have to talk, you can just come eat the food and listen.

More information about the class and a short commercial featuring Richards, can be found here: http://obmcc.org/divorce-care/#.VuoN4VMrKRs. You can also visit them on Facebook at: facebook.com/OBMDivorceCare.

Crawford said you can message that Facebook page and ask questions about anything.

Other DivorceCare classes can be found at http://www.divorcecare.org/.

By Alexandra Newman

[email protected]

Reach this writer at 937-538-4825.

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