Dear Grandparenting: Grandson Cam seems to have this thing for older women. His parents are longtime friends with a family that lives a few blocks away. Cam has developed a big crush on their flirty young daughter.
This is the first time my grandson has fallen hard for a girl. This particular one happens to be a college sophomore, while Cam is still in high school! The boy is way in over his head. She’s going to be a heartbreaker and everyone in the world but him sees what’s coming.
I was a fool in love who was totally devastated when my first crush rejected me. My instinct is to step in and spare my grandchildren from getting hurt. How in the world do you do that without causing a big scene? Beth Glass, Los Angeles, California
Dear Dolly: We came of age listening to Neil Sedaka’s 1962 hit “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.” He wasn’t kidding. Most are unlucky at love sooner or later, yet somehow we manage to survive. Better to have love and lost, they say, than to never love at all.
Since girls become socialized sooner, it’s been our experience that granddaughters take their early romantic relationships somewhat seriously, while grandsons are inclined to treat it more casually, even clown about break-ups. According to research, we worry too much. In a study of Northwestern University freshmen in long-term dating relationships, their forecasts of distress and happiness following a break-up overestimated both their initial anguish and recovery time, regardless of gender or who dumped whom.
Americans, said psychologist Paul Eastwick, are overly pessimistic about the emotional impact of distressing events and generally poor judges of future events.
His findings are consistent with other studies that showed people facing surgery envision suffering greater distress than they actually experience. And lottery winners are convinced they’ll enjoy greater happiness than they actually do after receiving their payout.
Grand remark of the week
Mac Anderson Moore from Marshall, Michigan enjoys the company of his seven grandchildren.
“Grandkids are like the straw that stirs my drink. They’re a great comfort in old age.”
Wife Becky didn’t miss a beat.
“They’ll help you reach it faster too,” she added.
Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.