Dear Grandparenting: People should get what they deserve like my three grandchildren, who hardly gave me a passing thought from the day they were born.
Those kids treated me like a disease. They split as soon as I came around and never bothered to lift a finger in time of need. Even worse, they showed no interest in things that matter to me like patriotism, family values and hard work. Any questions?
Lately my grandkids started coming around. My health is bad and they smell money. It was my mistake to tell them about their inheritance. But they’re all in for a little surprise that will blow their doors off.
I decided to leave my estate to Edna and Bruce, my two poodles. And when they die, the Society of Prevention of Cruelty Animals gets what’s left. All my dogs never showed me anything but love.
I only wish I could live to see the look on my grandkids’ faces when they learn my money is going to the dogs. Things never would have gotten this bad if my son were alive because he was a good father, but such is life. Who can blame me? They have it coming. Monica Martinez, Bethpage, Long Island, New York
Dear Monica: It’s your estate and your prerogative to do as you wish. Before the animal rights movement gained steam, your heirs might have taken the matter to court and prevailed. But not now — in 2016 Minnesota became the last state in America to enact a pet trust law.
Perhaps you borrowed a page from the playbook of the late Leona Helmsley, the self-styled “Queen of Mean.” Upon her death in 2007, Helmsley left a hefty $12 million to her Maltese named Trouble and billions more to other dogs, while selectively cutting certain grandchildren out of her will.
But when it comes to grandparenting, revenge seems a most unbecoming motive. Isn’t there a better way, a more constructive approach that incentivizes grandchildren to make something of themselves? How about creating an educational trust to fund their future, provided they meet certain performance goals to develop their work ethic? You could put aside the rest for the pooches. They’ll get by with or without filet mignon at mealtime.
Grand remark of the week
Nan West from Kingsport, Tennessee was “super pleased” when granddaughter Vicky announced she was the “best babysitter ever.”
Why? “Because you’re watching me and not the TV.”
Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.