Dear Grandparenting: This could begin with my daughter’s first husband. He was a nice guy but not the brightest bulb. He is the father of my two grandchildren. Both are in junior high school. Both get so-so grades.
My daughter always says their IQ is “just about average.” Average is fine but I was hoping for something better. I would like to think that my grandkids will really amount to something when they grow up. Is that realistic or am I just kidding myself? Monroe Hawkins, Bloomington, Indiana
Dear Monroe: Your grandchild’s IQ or intelligence quotient is but one measure of their ability, and a rather mediocre predictor of future success and wellbeing in and of itself.
Research shows that IQ is best at predicting academic success, relative to others of the same age. But once grandchildren enter the real world, other personality factors become the real difference makers — goal orientation, self-confidence and perseverance.
Here’s another way of looking at it: While IQ may be one predictor of success in large groups of people, it is a rather weak indicator for a single individual. Nor does it account for subjective evaluations of one’s success in this life.
Instead of a single dominant type of intelligence, many psychologists subscribe to the theory of multiple intelligences — logical-mathematical intelligence, musical intelligence, spatial intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, linguistic intelligence and so on. Grandchildren can measure low on one score and be superior in another.
So hold on tight to your dreams and encourage your grandchildren to explore their interests and natural gifts. We never discount the difference grandparents can make and neither should you.
Grand remark of the week
Kimberly Rubin from Everett, Washington recalls the day she took granddaughter Nora to Disneyworld in Florida, near where Kimberly lived at the time. It was a hot, humid afternoon and little Nora didn’t feel well.
The next day, Kimberly asked Nora about her favorite ride. “The ride back to your place, Grandma,” replied Nora.
Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.