Dear Grandparenting: My grandson Drew, to quote Oscar Wilde, “can resist anything but temptation.” He’s apt to do stupid things with his friends he wouldn’t do otherwise, stuff he comes to regret. Otherwise, Drew’s a pretty good kid going on 15. Any words of wisdom? I think it’s mostly a matter of learning to be true to himself. Celeste Conte, New York, New York
Dear Celeste: As grandchildren begin to transition toward independence, their peer groups exert an exaggerated influence. We’ll leave you with this oft repeated bit of verse entitled “The Man In The Glass,” about the struggle to be true to self. Here’s hoping it gives your grandson something to think about:
When you get what you want in your struggle for wealth
And the world makes you king for a day
Then go the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass
He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he’s who you clear up with in the end
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on your back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass
Grand remark of the week
Elliott Brown from Chambersburg, Pennsylvania weighed in with this observation:
“It’s common knowledge that parents feels comfortable entrusting their children to grandparents for extended periods of time, which might explain why so many grandparents flee to Florida.”