‘Mean girls’ getting an earlier start


Tom and Dee and Cousin Key



Dear Grandparenting: It’s not my style to air my family’s dirty laundry, but it’s getting close to the point of no return between me and my granddaughter.

Something has come over this younger generation that I don’t understand. Everything is all about her. She talks to me like she’s the one in charge because I was born “so yesterday.” She thinks being cool is how to get ahead. Manners are obviously for losers.

She accuses me of not listening but that’s her problem too. I must tell her something 20 times until it might sink in. I feel sorry for her friends. She treats them even worse, playing her little mind games. When someone falls out of favor, she “executes” them.

Here’s something else I think about. My mean little granddaughter is 11 years old. She’s just getting started. I don’t see much future for her. Who wants to put up with that? Randi Chase, The Villages, FL

Dear Randi: Haven’t we seen this before? Bossy, catty and socially aggressive – sure sounds like you’re dealing with a “mean girl,” those tough-talking bullies who take pleasure pushing others around and aside.

And they’re getting younger. Back-stabbing behaviors of upper school age children have trickled down to the younger set. Rosalind Wiseman – author of bestseller “Queen Bees and Wannabees” that was the basis for the movie “Mean Girls” – identified reasons behind this disturbing change.

The generally earlier onset of puberty lets loose hormonal tides that can wreck havoc on thinking and feeling. Don’t forget that kids model what they see; one study of 150 TV shows favored by children found that over 90% included social or relational aggression, often by physically attractive female characters.

What can you do? Provide some perspective — many kids give little thought to the power of words that can hurt others. Be a good model. Adults who fail to mind their own gossip can give kids bad ideas. Children with unmet needs for acceptance and a sense of belonging often lash out aggressively. Finally, try taking a long-term view. Adolescence is a disease most of us will outgrow.

Grand remark of the week:

Sam Black, from Waynesboro, PA, spent a recent afternoon in his workshop putting the finishing touches on a wooden plaque for his den that reads “Grandchildren welcome. Others by appointment only.”

https://www.sidneydailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/47/2022/12/Tom-and-Dee-byline-1.pdf

Tom and Dee and Cousin Key

Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.

Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.