Sidney man concerned about grandson

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Dear Grandparenting: Grandson Larry is just about perfect. I am sure I could find fault if I tried but that is not the point. Here is the book on Lance: gets great grades, captain of track team, member of basketball team, writes for school newspaper and volunteers for the food bank. He works some nights and most weekends to make college money. Not too shabby!!

I could go on. I get compliments about Larry, too. People say he is very polite. Some tell me he is “perfect.” Larry shrugs this stuff off and moves on to whatever is next on his to-do today list. He is forever and always on the go. Larry seems happy enough. I imagine my grandson leads a totally crazy life. He will not turn 18 until March but is busier than any grown-up I ever knew. Does this sound normal? Nick, Sidney, Ohio

Dear Nick: Congratulations! Sounds like a grandson we could all be proud of. He sure makes us look bad. Back in our hazy, lazy days of yesteryear, we idled away oodles of time we would love to have back. Of course, compared to when we were children, the variety of activities grandchildren can sample from week to week boggles the mind.

There is no shortage of a noise about the right amount of youthful activity. Scholarly papers that promote the benefits of extracurricular pursuits are offset by stories with headlines like “10 signs your kids are too busy.” It all boils down to finding the right balance. There is clearly a line between too much and too little, but few seem to know quite where it is.

So what’s normal? According to a recent report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, high school boys spend an average of three hours a week working/volunteering and seven hours on sports. For girls, the numbers are 5.5 and 3.5 hours respectively. Grandchildren who greatly exceed these averages typically end up as super-achievers or burnouts.

Either way, a busy young life in the fast lane comes at a cost, especially during pre-teenage years. Good quality of life is the greater question: Grandchildren need unstructured down time to reflect and engage in the process of self-discovery, say child development experts.

American society is quick to praise the go-getters. And while that may seem preferable to the greater numbers of grandchildren who engage in no extracurricular activities, we’ll close on this note. Moderation is the best pathway. Grandchildren who seem unduly burdened are in too deep.

GRAND REMARK OF THE WEEK

Jay Duncan from Lake Stevens, Washington, weighed in saying, “The simplest toy of all, one that any grandchild can operate, is called a grandparent.”

http://aimmedianetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/47/2016/02/Tom-and-Dee-byline.pdf

By Tom and Dee and Cousin Key

Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.

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