Dear Grandparenting: I have been doing my good grandmother thing by helping my granddaughter get ready for the big day! She even took me along to the store for my advice when she picked out her wedding gown. She told me she knew on their fourth date that she would get married to this guy. He took his sweet time waiting to pop the question. I am so happy that she is so happy.

But a funny thing happened on the way. My granddaughter is on the fence about her name. She cannot seem to make up her mind about keeping her maiden name or using his last name. Speaking as a woman, I am all for Erica’s exercising her rights. Speaking as a grandmother, I am traditional and really hope they stick with one name. It gets real confusing quickly when your descendants have different names. Suppose my granddaughter gets divorced and remarried? How many names then? What is your opinion? Hap, West Reading, Pennsylvania

Dear Hap: More modern granddaughters are indeed considering all their options about what’s in a name, and the trend has turned toward retaining their maiden names, according to the research from Google and the New York Times.

Back in the tradition-breaking decade of the 1970s, when state laws required a woman to use her husband’s name to vote or open a bank account, keeping one’s maiden name became a pillar of the women’s movement. After women began to achieve greater gender equality, the practice dropped off. But now it’s back, driven by the uptick of higher income, urban women with college degrees, celebrity female role models who keep their family surnames and more couples who live together before marriage. When you’re already living in a household with two last names, it seems normal.

Women are more likely to keep their names when they are older, not religious and have children from a previous marriage. A smaller number of women hyphenate their last names or use both surnames, as does Hillary Rodham Clinton. It remains a difficult decision, regardless, for granddaughters torn between family and career considerations and their own social consciences. Although exact figures are hard to come by, roughly 20 percent of newlywed granddaughters will keep their maiden names. Among wealthier women appearing in the wedding section of Sunday’s New York Times, the number jumps to 30 percent.

While it may seem easier as a practical matter to adopt a husband’s last name, there is evidence that granddaughters who do so risk being financially penalized in the workplace. Some employers consider such women to be less intelligent, less ambitious, more dependent and more focused on family. Meanwhile, women who keep their maiden names run the risk of sending the signal they are less committed to their marriages. Who said life is fair?

GRAND REMARK OF THE WEEK

Alan Millstein, of Denver, Colorado, quit his day job nine years ago, but “the word ‘retirement’ is not in my vocabulary, not by a long shot. Keeping up with my grandchildren is no life of leisure, but I do love it just the same. On some days I feel like I’ve run away to join the circus.”