Without a doubt you have witnessed discussion of conspiracy theories at some point in your life. New ones are appearing at an impressive rate, though some are much more thought-out than others. Whether it be a madcap rant played for comedic effect on television, a white knuckle argument between keyboard warriors in the YouTube comments section or just Uncle Larry getting a bit too sloshed at New Year’s and explaining the NWO to anything with ears and a double-digit IQ, you’ve probably heard, and silently dismissed, conspiracy theorists countless times. It seems as if conspiracy theories are an inescapable, though often refutable, constant. Occasionally you may happen upon a group so dedicated, so vitriolic and so insane that you couldn’t hold back your frustration. Enter the chemtrail community.
The chemtrail theory is interesting. Proponents say airplanes, both military and commercial, spray a varied mix of poisonous chemicals into the air — and they aren’t referring to the exhaust. They claim these planes carry huge tanks filled with various mixtures of boron, aluminum flakes, diseases and other things that you wouldn’t want to inhale. Government agencies spray these solutions from high up in our atmosphere, then large microwave-emitting arrays, namely HAARP in Gakona, Alaska, use the aluminum flakes as a conductor to direct extremely low frequency waves at designated locations. These waves supposedly allow for government mind control. The purpose of the diseases is said to be anything from stifling rebellion to just good old-fashioned, nonconsenting experiments. Another common theory is that arrays like HAARP are used to control the weather and geoengineer earthquakes and other natural disasters. It’s often stated that the purpose of creating natural disasters is to “persuade” other countries. Others say the true purpose is to create wartime advantages for the U.S. military.
Why would our government be poisoning our air, you may ask, the very same air that, they too, breathe? That’s a clever question. The chemtrail community doesn’t have a concrete answer, other than, “Maybe they use respirators?” Interact with these people long enough and you notice a pattern of nonanswers emerging. Most questions you pose to chemtrail believers are answered in cryptic rhetorical questions or are simply met with the response that you must work for the government as a plant. When presented with criticisms they can’t overcome, they will almost always fall back on calling you a “government shill,” or a “mindless sheep” or a “spreader of misinformation.”
The interesting thing is that much of the name-calling can be turned right back at them. If anyone is spreading misinformation, it’s certainly them. Go ahead, Google “chemtrail tanks.” You should get plenty of results. You’ll see numerous pictures of large tanks in empty airplane fuselages or just mysterious, unmarked canisters sitting on pallets, waiting to be loaded onto an aircraft. Most of what you’re seeing, however, are water filled ballast tanks used to simulate the weight of passengers in tests of airplanes. Pictures of these tanks are the most common source of “proof” of chemtrails within the community, though the only thing they prove is how hard these people want to believe the things they’re saying.
The ominous trails people are so worked up about are little more than condensation trails. They’ll tell you that “condensation trails disperse quickly, while chemtrails linger for minutes or hours after appearing,” but actually, it all depends on atmospheric conditions. According to Peter Tyson of NOVA, persistent contrails can remain present for hours, sometimes being spread into stratus-like sheets by high winds. Due to the erratic nature of high altitude weather, contrails can appear to start and stop at random as the plane passes through zones of differing pressure and temperature.
To a chemtrail theorist, this is “chemtrails being turned on and off.” They’ll also try to explain that this is a recent phenomenon, but going back to early pictures of jet planes from the 1940s and ’50s, contrails are still present. The higher amount of contrails present today is a result of increased air travel. “But-but-but,” the flustered theorist stammers, “what about the very regular crisscrossing patterns of the trails?” This, too, can be easily explained. Air traffic is heavily regulated for safety reasons, and the flight patterns of commercial planes are made to be geometric as a result. So even if there is a grain of truth in these arguments, it’s still only a needle of truth in a haystack of faulty propositions. Unfortunately, even knowing how to refute their claims may do little good.
People hate to admit that they’re wrong, and conspiracy theorists are a prime example of this. Rather than accepting the simple, verified solution, they like to find a much more grandiose explanation. As soon as one of these theorists discovers a new theory, they’ll often say that “their eyes have been opened” or that they “can never look at the world the same way again,” and that’s absolutely true. As soon as you become aware of something, you’ll find yourself noticing it in your day-to-day life. It’s like when you learn the meaning of a word and hear it in conversation later, or when you buy a new car and start to notice similar models all over the road, or when you hear about chemtrails and start paying much more attention to those benign trails of exhaust that you never noticed before. Chemtrail conspiracy theories are simply a virus-like meme. They’re transmitted through contact with those susceptible to their unique, flawed take on the world. The only cure is time, for in time, everyone will forget the willful ignorance that is the chemtrail theories. Thank God.
