Dear Grandparenting: I pay my two grandchildren to help around the house. They can do in one hour more than I can do in 10 and I’ve come to rely on them. My grandson is 10 and my granddaughter is 12.
It pains me to admit that one or both is a thief. Can I prove it? I haven’t caught them with money in their hands, but there are just the three of us in my house when the money disappears. You figure it out.
It’s almost like a cat and mouse game. I know someone is watching and waiting, so I have to hide things and move things around. I put my cash inside books in my little library area or inside a magazine.
In the annals of crime, it’s no biggie. Let’s say they’ve nicked me for about $150 over the last six months. Now that I’m onto their little game, I’m thinking it’s best to just keep my mouth shut.
Number one, it might pit the grandkids against each other. Two, it could destroy any chance that I’ll ever have a satisfactory relationship with one or both grandchildren. Third, how will their parents (my daughter) take this news? Will they resent me for making a big deal about it? Will they even believe me?
It would bother me to turn the other cheek on this. But having given it some thought, I can imagine stirring up more family trouble than it’s worth fixing. I’m no coward, just pragmatic. I’m guessing you would take it upon yourself to find the culprit(s) and go straight to the parents. Anonymous, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Dear Anonymous: We’re not going to disappoint you. Confronting the culprit(s) is exactly what we’d do, even at the risk of alienating or discomforting other family members. To our way of thinking, it’s part and parcel of being a responsible grandparent.
We’d be less worried about creating hard family feelings than nipping this in the bud. Act on your reasonable suspicion and take it to the parents. Assuming your daughter and son-in-law have any moral backbone, they’ll want to get to the bottom of this, and pronto. Who wants to feed and shelter the same hands that may steal from them?
So it’s high time for an intervention. Put the grandchildren on notice, maybe put a little fear in them. Steal $150 and all may be forgiven, assuming you straighten up. Steal $1,500 and they’ll be calling you a felon.
GRAND REMARK OF THE WEEK
PoppaBear007 from Sidney was upset when grandson, James, whacked his younger brother, Jimmy, during their video game.
“Don’t let me see you hit your brother like that again,” he said sternly.
“Can I hit him softer?” asked James.
