Dear Grandparenting: My granddaughter Emily has put me on the spot and I’d like your advice. Emily and boyfriend Joe are both 22. They have been a couple since their first year in college.
Emily told me about their little plan. She and Joe want to elope and tell their parents later. I have been sitting on this secret for a while now and it makes me uncomfortable.
I never asked to get involved in the first place. Emily just blurted it out one day and now I’m stuck in the middle. If I don’t tell anyone, I feel like I’m cheating my daughter, since she has a right to know. If I do tell, Emily will never forgive me. She doesn’t care for a fancy wedding. Sarah Corona, Poughkeepsie, New York
Dear Sarah: We’ve come a long way from the days when the word elopement automatically conjured up images of unseemly goings-on. Instead of raising a ruckus or rewriting the will, many families today are not so quick to judge these clandestine nuptials.
Elopements and micro-weddings are simpler and cheaper — a less stressful, more intimate option that allows the newlyweds the freedom to fully plan their big day. It’s also attractive for couples with multiple marriages and complicated family structures, and ongoing concerns about the COVID pandemic curtail large gatherings.
Your dilemma may not be as dire as you imagine. Best as we can tell, your granddaughter’s decision was wholly rational, not made in haste or the heat of high emotion. It’s her wedding and her preference, period. And given the length of her relationship with Joe, their eventual marriage was likely a forgone conclusion.
Upon her return, your granddaughter can heal bruised family feelings by sending out elopement announcements and planning a wedding celebration. With the money they saved, it should be a great party.
Grand remark of the week
Toasts flew fast and furious when Gabby and Mickey Andrews from Santa Rosa, California celebrated their golden wedding anniversary.
It was finally grandson Glenn’s turn. “The secret to their long marriage,” began Glenn, age 8, “is that neither one has died.”
Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.