Dear Grandparenting: My granddaughter is 15 years old and sounds slightly scared. She has been on and off with this boy for some time. Now she wants to make a clean break.
She is bored with him. Her “boyfriend” is not really interested in anything except what most boys that age want. He was never my cup of tea, but that is neither here nor there. I am only concerned about my granddaughter’s happiness.
Here’s where this gets tricky. My granddaughter has tons of stories about horrible things boys have done to girls who dump them. When the boy dumps the girl, of course that’s fine and dandy.
She doesn’t know for certain if her boyfriend is like that. But I happen to be a protective grandmother who doesn’t take chances, especially since my granddaughter gave me more to worry about. The boy’s father apparently gave his mother a working over that got physical when she asked for a separation. Any ideas about how to handle something like this? Georgia Carroll, Lady Lake, Florida
Dear Georgia: So the music has stopped for your granddaughter, but her part-time paramour still wants more of that same slow dance.
If that’s really all he’s after, the parting may not be a problem since it’s readily available elsewhere. Like it or not, our grandchildren’s generation has developed a taste for casual sex without commitment that some call “friends with benefits.”
It sometimes sounds easy theoretically, but breaking up is an emotional minefield, no place to linger. Phrases like “we’ll always be friends” or “this is best for you” can invite argument, so keep the discussion in the here and now and don’t project.
Why prolong the bleeding? Best to make a clean, surgical cut face-to-face, in a way that’s respectful but firm and final. In our experience, such romantic entanglements are easier to get into than get out of. But the quicker the exit, the sooner your granddaughter’s heart can return to the hunt.
GRAND REMARK OF THE WEEK
Mariah Jones, of Sidney, is “extremely easy to please” when it comes to catching up with her infant granddaughter. “A highlight of my day is just sitting and listening to my little sweetie breathing into the phone.”
Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285. Call 410-963-4426.