Dear Grandparenting: My daughter calls my 4-year-old grandson, Chris, “the general.” He likes to take over. If Chris doesn’t get his way, look out! He can turn into a little monster. I’ve seen it before. He has a nice little act all worked up. It includes stomping, whining, maybe a few tears, whatever — you name it! I admit I can’t stand his whining. My daughter usually gives in to his demands, because she’s tired after work.

I refuse to cave into the demands of a 4-year-old child. Grandparents were put on earth to help their grandchildren grow up right. I admit I am a little rusty at this sort of thing. It’s been about 65 years since I had kids that age. I am about to begin spending two or three afternoons a week with Chris. I pray I’ll be able to straighten my grandson out by setting limits and letting him know that I am most definitely in charge. Don’t you think that will do it? Happy Days, Marshall, Michigan

Dear Happy: Spoken like a grandparent with that good old common sense! Your little general has been allowed to ride far too long on his high horse, and it’s time he came down to earth. Whether he has a hard landing or soft landing remains to be seen. Either way, it’s about time.

But this will likely take some disciplining. You and your daughter must have a plan in place about what to do when your grandson acts out and disobeys. Then you have to stick with it.

We are continually astounded to learn of adults who let children rule the roost. The results are generally unsatisfactory for all. In our experience, children are happier and more secure with rules and expectations, along with positive affirmations when they stay in line.

Your grandson, Chris, brings to mind a Japanese proverb: The nail that sticks up gets hammered down. By hammering your grandson softly and reinforcing desired behaviors, you’ll begin to see the difference.

GRAND REMARK OF THE WEEK

Del Flynn from Bend, Oregon, says he’s “getting too old for too much craziness with my grandchildren. Last time it was over the top, like turning the blender on high without putting the lid on it first.”