Dear Grandparenting: I am a regular reader of your column. Many of your columns are about grandparents and grandchildren matching wits, each trying to get their way. You set the rules and those darn kids try to break them, right? I’m not playing that game. I have a much better idea. My way saves my precious energy and saves me the grief of running around after them. My grandkids can pretty much do as they please as long as I know about it. Here’s the qualifier: If it’s something stupid or dangerous, I get to veto it.

I cannot stand sneaks and I know my grandchildren certainly are not little angels. So if they want to take a sip of liquor or have a beer, it’s OK in my house. I know they watch porn on their computers too. I think it’s perfectly normal for kids to take a taste of the forbidden fruit. Maybe they’ll get it out of their system.

So far, so good — cops aren’t knocking on my door, nobody has gotten pregnant and we all get along. As far as I can tell, everyone is doing OK in school. I know this is way too permissive by your standards, but I’m interested in your reaction. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! Blondie, Oxford, Florida

Dear Blondie: Didn’t you forget something besides liquor and porn? How about drugs and gambling? Throw in a few more vices and you’ll have yourself a complete house of horrors.

Call it permissive or benign neglect, but we saw enough of this hands-off approach to conclude it’s no way to raise a child. The anti-establishment counterculture of the 1960s and 1970s produced a batch of children raised without much regard for conventional rules and values. Having grown up with scant structure or proper discipline, many were left stranded on society’s fringes, drifters on the mainstream.

To each their own, but we are firmly convinced that grandchildren do best under a regime that imposes limits and enforces rules, which in turn promotes a greater sense of security and family connectedness. Taking the trouble to supervise and nurture children shows them that A) you really care, and B) they really matter. Civilizing children is hard work. If it were so easy, everyone would do it well. But they don’t, as you could be seen to exemplify.

GRAND REMARK OF THE WEEK

Buddy Davis from Waynesboro, Pennsylvania, never fails to laugh over the commotion grandson Jimmy stirs up with his older sisters.

“Jimmy specializes in hit-and-run attacks,” said Buddy. “He finds an ugly bug in our yard, drops it in his sister’s lap and runs off before his mother can yell at him.”