By Sara Olding

I believe in the power of paradox. Years ago when I had very young children I also lost all four of my grandparents over the span of just a few years. The collision of opposites during that time forced me to see the power of paradox. There was loss, but also renewal. While they were gone, I became acutely aware of the parts of them that I still wanted my children to know. The way my Grandma Schlater never forgot a birthday, the way my Grandma Weigandt patiently taught me to peel apples and bake apple pie each October – these became habits that I celebrated and instilled in my own children.

Recently my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and our family life was filled with uncertainty. She is the anchor – easily the kindest and most helpful person I know. As she began her journey to recovery, there were more questions than answers. There was fear and uncertainty – there was chaos that forced a sort of surrendering of plans. Sitting with the fear was the only thing that could force courage.Though we couldn’t see it in the raw pain of the moment, the surrender was necessary to find healing.

We can’t understand the significance of the collision of opposites when we are in the middle of them. There are too many big emotions to manage so we have to practice stepping outside of them. We can only appreciate the significance once we gain a wider perspective. It requires some reflection to put it all in context.

This collision of opposites is one of the many reasons that I love teaching seniors in high school. Graduation marks the end of something, but also the beginning of so much more. It is the end of the only life they have known, but the start of any life they want. This collision of opposites is so powerful! These students are just beginning to discover the power of reflecting on paradox.

There are many paradoxes for which I am grateful. For example, the more I listen and the quieter I get, the more I discover the clarity of my own voice. The more I give, the less I want. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I actually know. The less attention I pay to things that I know really don’t matter, the more I discover the satisfaction of what actually does. The contrast, the contradiction- it has become something that I study and celebrate, because when I do I always find meaning.

A year ago my college age daughter left for a semester abroad. She was homesick but also not ready to come home. She didn’t want the semester to be over but also wanted the semester to end. It wasn’t until we sat in the contradiction of it all that we realized the power of the paradox and the utility of wrestling with the opposites. The times in life when we feel the struggle most often foster seasons of great hope and gratitude. Here we are a year later and she is graduating from college and carving out a new chapter. Again – an end and a beginning. A mix of emotions as she embraces something wonderful ending and the excitement and uncertainty of a whole new start. My advice to her and to my students is that sometimes life isn’t either/or. Infact, most of the time life is both/and. It is up to us to figure out what that means. What a big and beautiful journey that can be if only we let it.

To all of the Sidney Daily News readers who took the time to send letters and cards to the student writers featured in the VOICES series, thank you so very much! It has been a profound experience for students to discover the power of their own voices as they receive your encouraging feedback.

Sara Olding is a teacher at Sidney High School. She collaborates with Miami University each summer for the Ohio Writing Project. In her free time she enjoys running, reading, hiking and traveling. This summer she is looking forward to going to Redwood National Park to see the giant trees.